How to Score Off Field (Signed Edition)

I, Drake Colter, solemnly swear I do not want a girlfriend…

Carefree and ridiculously good-looking, I have the entire student body eating from the palm of my hand—shouldn’t I let the ladies on campus have their fill rather than being tied down?

If only my brother Drew would take notes from my playbook. As identical twins, we share the same voice, the same face, and the same physique; it’s virtually impossible to tell us apart—but that’s where the similarities end.

Lately, my brother has been whining about wanting to settle down. He longs for affection, companionship and all the bullshit that goes along with it blah blah blah.

Problem is, he’s hopeless when it comes to dating. It’s seriously embarrassing to watch, considering we’re identical; everyone thinks I’m him and everyone thinks he’s me.

Luckily I’m not intimidated by women and have plenty of experience. I might not want to find myself a girlfriend, but that don’t mean I can’t help him. Dude never needs to know!

And that’s the very thing that lands me in trouble…