Pucked Up

You’d think I had it all:
Pro hockey player ??
Great family ??
Emotionally available for a girlfriend ??

Except I might be cursed. Bad stuff just happens to me.
I fell asleep only for someone to draw genitals on my face? Pictures go viral.
Got a spider bite, should be fine, right? It's close to my most prized body part, aka now melons.
Found the perfect woman? She’s my team captain’s younger sister.

I’m a goner for Sunny. Obsessed. Head over heels.
But I will do whatever it takes to have her forever, even if her brother does try to remove me from this earthly plane.