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Shopping for a Billionaire:
Ever meet a hot billionaire while your hand's in a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores?
No? So it really is just me. Hmm.
When you're a mystery shopper, you get paid to humiliate yourself, all in the name of improving customer service. Romance isn't in my job description.
But the day I met Declan McCormick it was love at first flush.
Until I nearly castrated him with my EpiPen.
How Hot Guy and Toilet Girl became an item involves my crazy mom, a trip to the ER, my homicidal cat, my fake wife, and true love.
Don't look at me like that. I'm just doing my job.
I'm shopping for a billionaire.
Shopping for a Billionaire’s Fiancée:
All of our best dates end up in the emergency room....
I planned the perfect proposal. Plenty of lobster, caviar, champagne and-her favorite-tiramisu. The perfect setting. The perfect woman.
The perfect everything.
Dad gave me my late mother's engagement ring, platinum and diamonds galore. Shannon wouldn't care if I slid a giant hard-candy ring on her finger instead of a three-carat diamond designed to impress.
But my future mother-in-law, Marie, will pass out when she sets eyes on that rock, and that will give us two minutes of blessed silence. That woman talks more than Kim Kardashian flashes her bare backside on the internet.
I was going to make it perfect, from the color of the tablecloth to the freshness of the roses.
And it was perfect.
Until Shannon swallowed the ring.
Shopping for a CEO:
I’m thrilled to be the maid of honor in my friend’s wedding, but the best man, Andrew McCormick, is a chauvinistic pig with a God complex.
And I can’t stop kissing him in closets.
(Don’t ask.)
He’s the brother of the groom and the CEO of my biggest mystery shopping account, but suddenly he’s refusing to be in the wedding. He won’t talk about it. Won’t see reason.
He’s such a man.
And he still won’t stop kissing me in random closets.
(Thank goodness.)
I’m a fixer. That’s what I do. I can fix anything if given the chance. But when the game is fixed there’s only so much I can do.
The ball’s in his court now.
Game on.